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Relationships require work, a lot of work if they are to survive. However, we are all different and some of us can easily feel “trapped” or “smothered”. So what do you do?

Firstly one needs to understand the other. If, like me, one is an only child, chances are they are used to being alone, and sometimes crave it. Not because they want to be with someone else as it may seem, just that they need more space than other people.

Sometimes a needing of more space is a signal that they want out of a relationship. But this is often not the case. The fact is, you should know if everything in general in your relationship is going ok. If it is, then “space” is not a threat to your relationship. Sometimes it’s just a matter of common sense.

In other words, a good way to judge whether this request for more space is a message telling you it’s over, is to ask yourself if this is strange behaviour. If it is out of character, then you need to talk.

If this is normal behaviour it should have been evident from the start. It may just be that with modern day work pressure, you may have forgotten this part of your partner’s makeup, and it’s now worrying you. Think back to the early days of your relationship. Past behaviour should give some clues.

However, if this is a new characterisitic, beware.

If you deal with this by the book, you will find most books advise breaking of contact with an ex, rather than hit them with raw emotion and saying things you may later regret.

What they don’t tell you though, is that your partner wanting more space is not the same thing.

A partner wanting more space often has nothing to do with their partner. These types of people, and I am one, simply like to retreat from the stresses and strains of the world for a few minutes and contemplate their navel. I don’t know why. Why isn’t an issue. The fact is, I want to be with my wife, but i also want to sit quietly alone sometimes.

The underlying issue here is communication.

Quality time spent with your partner with no distractions is very important. Without this, things can be tricky.

To maintain mutual understanding, aim to have a date together once a week, in which there are no friends or TV, just the two of you, talking.

By rediscovering each other, you will feel comfortable together, even when your partner needs more space!

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